Eli and Life

This has become the worst summer ever...

After being on this earth for over 20 years, I have encountered my worst fear.  This fear is the cause of some of the most horrible feelings imaginable that we as humans can undergo.  This is the fear of losing the one you love, the one that completes you, the one thats means most to you and fills your life with unmeasurable joy and happiness.  Yet at the same time can make your life feel the worse when they tell you they don't want you anymore.  This fear is turning into a reality....god I don't want this!!

So this is the beginning to change.  Change is never easy especially when you know you're wrong which is why you need to change.  But I have realized something which is why I'm changing, and that is that we can't always let instincts, minds, feelings, or emotions dictate our actions and what we do in life.  This has been a hard lesson to learn, but I think i'm starting to get it.  My main problem is the "green-eyed monster." This savage beast has been attempting to take over my life and trying to ruin it for the last 4 months, but this is no longer the case (If you're wondering what the "green-eyed" monster is, look it up in Shakespeare) .  From this day forward I'm changing I will defeat the green-eyed monster for good.  Why is the so important you ask? I will tell you.

On the latter part of September in 2006, I randomly met a girl in the street.  Her name was Natalia but she told me to call her Natasha.  At the time she was a complete stranger but little did I know that she would come to be the woman of my dreams, the woman that I truly love.  Everything about her is perfect, her entire body from head to toe is beautiful, and even her voice and smell fill me with the greatest  joy that I cannot get anywhere else.  When I'm with her I feel like the world is only made up of 2 beings, her and I.  Unfortunately, this is where the green-eye monster starts to come in and tries to ruin things because in fact her and I are not the only ones on this planet.  She has many friends, as do I, with whom we both interact, so this reality takes away from the feeling that we are the only ones for each other.  It has taken me quite some time to realize this and get used to it.  But I feel that change has begun.  And I know that things will get much better, better than they have ever been.  And my love and I will be happier than ever.  This is all for now.   

I would just like to add one more thing, to my love Natasha, baby.  I love you from the bottom of my heart, you mean the world to me and I hope that you have a great summer, I can't wait to see you again. 
 

I love you and miss you,
Eli

P.s. I hope that you will forgive me.

This is my first time ever on livejournal and I'm doing it because of a class assignment and there are people I know who are also on livejournal.  The last time I did any kind of journal was in high school when I had xanga.  It feels kind of weird writing my thoughts on the internet again.  Well we will see how this goes. 

To life and the pursuit of happiness,

Eli